she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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