turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Just puked most of my soul out..
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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