Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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