My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize