It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
