Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
