I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Can I color on your dick again?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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