I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
