So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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