Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
