is your mom at the bar?
i think i have two assholes
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize