it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
