Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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