I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
