You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You need a sexual gate keeper
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
