How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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