how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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