Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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