I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
