no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize