so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
