ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
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