She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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