It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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