I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
