i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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