Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
