everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
