Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
