You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
