Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
