I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
