Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
