Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
the day after is always just damage control
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
