What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
