Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
