Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
