It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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