i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize