Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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