I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
