So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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