He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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