you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I love you. Go after that dick
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
