He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
