Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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