I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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