she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
