Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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