ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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