I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize