call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize