I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
