I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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