I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
