Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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