so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
