brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
