After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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